There's No App for Friendship
There's No App for Friendship
Transcript
So meaningful relationships are about a willingness to sacrifice, right? That you care about someone so much that you're willing to sacrifice some thing of your own interests in order to do right by them or to help them. It could mean going late to work because you were helping them figure something out. You're helping them move or something. It could mean taking time out of your day, or doing them a favor, going to their house as opposed to them always coming to you.
It's little things like that, that over the course of time, build trust. When people feel that we are willing to go the extra, not even the extra mile, an extra inch for them, then they reciprocate, and in time, we start to build close relationships. And I think because we have an easier time connecting to people in a modern, digital age, we sometimes confuse connecting with people with feeling connected to people. They're not the same, and there's no app for a friendship. There's no app for love.
There's apps for introductions. But the mechanisms that create trust and cooperation are thousands of years, old and they're not going to change with technology. And so absolutely use technology to link up with people, but the actual work of forming trust is the same. In other words, you have to go out of your way. You have to make an effort. You have to show up. Sending a bunch of emails, replying, sending a resume is not what does it.
This is why interpersonal connections are the best way to get into something. And for somebody like me, who is an introvert, the advice that I'm going to give is even hard for me to give, but being social matters. Now that doesn't mean you have to work a crowd or go to a networking event. That's uncomfortable to me. But there are all kinds of ways to meet people, and one of the best ways is to just ask people you already trust and who really know you for introductions. It's kind of like dating.
Nobody introduces you to anybody unless you say to a friend, hey, if you think of anybody that's good for me, would you introduce me? And they go, oh, my god. Yes, totally. It's the same thing. Hey, I'm looking to do x, y or z And then basically what happens is your network becomes everybody else's network. But why would they extend their own reputations, or take a risk on you, unless they trust you first?
It's little things like that, that over the course of time, build trust. When people feel that we are willing to go the extra, not even the extra mile, an extra inch for them, then they reciprocate, and in time, we start to build close relationships. And I think because we have an easier time connecting to people in a modern, digital age, we sometimes confuse connecting with people with feeling connected to people. They're not the same, and there's no app for a friendship. There's no app for love.
There's apps for introductions. But the mechanisms that create trust and cooperation are thousands of years, old and they're not going to change with technology. And so absolutely use technology to link up with people, but the actual work of forming trust is the same. In other words, you have to go out of your way. You have to make an effort. You have to show up. Sending a bunch of emails, replying, sending a resume is not what does it.
This is why interpersonal connections are the best way to get into something. And for somebody like me, who is an introvert, the advice that I'm going to give is even hard for me to give, but being social matters. Now that doesn't mean you have to work a crowd or go to a networking event. That's uncomfortable to me. But there are all kinds of ways to meet people, and one of the best ways is to just ask people you already trust and who really know you for introductions. It's kind of like dating.
Nobody introduces you to anybody unless you say to a friend, hey, if you think of anybody that's good for me, would you introduce me? And they go, oh, my god. Yes, totally. It's the same thing. Hey, I'm looking to do x, y or z And then basically what happens is your network becomes everybody else's network. But why would they extend their own reputations, or take a risk on you, unless they trust you first?