How We Choose
How We Choose
Transcript
I want to start with a disclaimer. I am not an expert on decision making. And I do not study choice for a living. But I have, throughout my career as a higher education professional, helped thousands of students think about and ultimately make meaningful decisions. And over the years of helping people make choices, I've observed a few things about how people choose that I think might be useful as we begin our discussion of intentional decision making.
There are three things I want you to know about how we choose. First, I want you to know that you do not need to be an expert on choice to be an effective chooser.
There are people out there who've devoted their entire professional lives to building a more accurate understanding of how people make choices. And there are entire fields of research and academic inquiry dedicated precisely to this topic.
But here's the good thing about choosing. We all make choices. You make dozens, even hundreds of them every single day, and you've made thousands of them over the course of your life. So you're no stranger to the work of choosing.
So yes, there are experts who know a tremendous amount about this topic. And much of what you will learn in this module comes directly from their work.
But nobody knows more about how you make choices or about the choices you've made than you do. That self-knowledge-- your understanding of how you make choices, how you have made important decisions in the past, and how those decisions have played out for you will be extremely valuable as we move forward.
Second, I want you to know that it is perfectly natural for certain kinds of choosing to feel challenging. Now, perhaps you're a person who makes decisions-- even the most important decisions-- effortlessly and with grace every single time. And if so, congratulations. And I hope you'll bear with me.
But if you're like most of us and you occasionally struggle to make a decision or you sometimes feel a little indecisive or the experience of choosing can feel overwhelming, then please know that you're not alone.
Even though most of us have been socialized to think about choice as liberating and empowering, there is compelling research that suggests not only that making certain choices can feel really challenging, but also that making certain choices should feel really challenging. That internal tug of war you experience when you're wrestling with a particularly tough choice-- that means you're probably doing something right.
Third, I want you to know that decision making is a skill, not an ability or an aptitude that you are or aren't born with. That's good news, because it means that, like any other skill, from cooking to typing to playing the violin, you can become a better decision maker with practice, effort, and good strategies.
It also means that if and when you struggle to make a particular decision, that doesn't mean you've reached the natural limit of your ability to make tough choices. It simply means that there's still room for you to learn, to grow, and to become a more effective, more confident chooser.
One final note. You'll notice this module isn't called "Decision Making" but rather "Intentional Decision Making." And that word "intentional" is important, because not all decision making is intentional. Sometimes we need to make a quick call or a snap judgment or act on a gut instinct. But other times, we need to slow the process down a little bit and do more than simply react.
To act with intention, you need to gather information, conduct some honest self-assessment, consider possible outcomes, and assess risks and rewards. Acting with intention takes time. It demands certain kinds of effort. And it often requires you to have candid conversations with yourself and with people in your life who know more than you do and who care about you.
So as you prepare to make your own intentional decision, I encourage you to get self-reflective, to get real with yourself, and to start thinking about what you want, why you want it, and who can help you. The sooner you do that, the better equipped you'll be to start making some productive, intentional decisions of your own.
There are three things I want you to know about how we choose. First, I want you to know that you do not need to be an expert on choice to be an effective chooser.
There are people out there who've devoted their entire professional lives to building a more accurate understanding of how people make choices. And there are entire fields of research and academic inquiry dedicated precisely to this topic.
But here's the good thing about choosing. We all make choices. You make dozens, even hundreds of them every single day, and you've made thousands of them over the course of your life. So you're no stranger to the work of choosing.
So yes, there are experts who know a tremendous amount about this topic. And much of what you will learn in this module comes directly from their work.
But nobody knows more about how you make choices or about the choices you've made than you do. That self-knowledge-- your understanding of how you make choices, how you have made important decisions in the past, and how those decisions have played out for you will be extremely valuable as we move forward.
Second, I want you to know that it is perfectly natural for certain kinds of choosing to feel challenging. Now, perhaps you're a person who makes decisions-- even the most important decisions-- effortlessly and with grace every single time. And if so, congratulations. And I hope you'll bear with me.
But if you're like most of us and you occasionally struggle to make a decision or you sometimes feel a little indecisive or the experience of choosing can feel overwhelming, then please know that you're not alone.
Even though most of us have been socialized to think about choice as liberating and empowering, there is compelling research that suggests not only that making certain choices can feel really challenging, but also that making certain choices should feel really challenging. That internal tug of war you experience when you're wrestling with a particularly tough choice-- that means you're probably doing something right.
Third, I want you to know that decision making is a skill, not an ability or an aptitude that you are or aren't born with. That's good news, because it means that, like any other skill, from cooking to typing to playing the violin, you can become a better decision maker with practice, effort, and good strategies.
It also means that if and when you struggle to make a particular decision, that doesn't mean you've reached the natural limit of your ability to make tough choices. It simply means that there's still room for you to learn, to grow, and to become a more effective, more confident chooser.
One final note. You'll notice this module isn't called "Decision Making" but rather "Intentional Decision Making." And that word "intentional" is important, because not all decision making is intentional. Sometimes we need to make a quick call or a snap judgment or act on a gut instinct. But other times, we need to slow the process down a little bit and do more than simply react.
To act with intention, you need to gather information, conduct some honest self-assessment, consider possible outcomes, and assess risks and rewards. Acting with intention takes time. It demands certain kinds of effort. And it often requires you to have candid conversations with yourself and with people in your life who know more than you do and who care about you.
So as you prepare to make your own intentional decision, I encourage you to get self-reflective, to get real with yourself, and to start thinking about what you want, why you want it, and who can help you. The sooner you do that, the better equipped you'll be to start making some productive, intentional decisions of your own.